So, Broadway Barks 14 happened yesterday and it is, quite possibly, one of the best ideas that has ever happened in the history of the world. Clearly, Mary Tyler Moore and Bernadette Peters, the event co-founders, were pounding the margaritas too hard one night some 15 years ago when one of them (I am looking at you, Bernadette) was like, “let’s use our actor friends – only those good-looking ones – to adopt off some little dawwwgggiees. Gurrlllll…”
And because Mary Tyler Moore fulfilled her activity quota for the rest of her life and does not have to do anything she does not want to, she nodded her head with minimal effort having no idea what she was supporting (kind of). Thus, Broadway Barks was born, an adoption drive/fundraiser/awareness generator for adoption centers and animal rescues all over NYC. The whole event sounds like it came from an eleven-year-old girl’s
Christmas holiday wish list.
Granted, the entire occasion is basically everyone tapping into their inner eleven-year-old girl because the only thing better then Broadway and adorable theater folk is a combination of Broadway, adorable theater folk and dogs. Throw in some crazy mishaps in the event run-through and I’m sold…best two hours spent in the cramped Shubert Alley ever.
Here, in some indiscernible order, are some points you might appreciate.
-- How adorable these puppies and dogs are, I can’t even describe. Some of them looked so ginormous that I could have rode away on them into the sunset. You know, if I lost 100 pounds, but still…
-- If you ever wanted to see Bernadette Peters play the role of a doyen, you got your chance when she and Mary Tyler Moore took the stage. Because MTM looked completely over it reading a cue-carded script or even being cognoscente with the action. It was hilarious watching Bernadette escort her around and alert her, inform her and/or hold her up whenever it was MTM’s turn to do something.
-- Even with Bernadette
her bitch, MTM kept flubbing damn-near every line and name. I guess that is
understandable because it is not like she is an actress or anything. You gotta love the two of them.
-- Audra McDonald, Broadway’s most perfect woman, and Norm Lewis were on hand to pawn off some pets. Audra’s daughter, the one that upstaged the entire Tony telecast (no kidding), was there too. She is one of the more famous people in the theater community, inspite of that whole “not ever being in a Broadway show” thing.
|How adorbs are they....and don't get |
me started on those dogs.
-- While showcasing a dog, Adam Chanler-Berat, intentionally or not, draped the dog leashes to look like he was wearing suspenders. It is a shame he is not cute or anything.
-- Also on hand from Peter and the Starcatcher was Celia Keenan-Bolger, who looked precious in a pretty dress. She was also carrying a dog and this is important news because there is a dog, or mammal in general, that is smaller than Celia herself. So tiny is that girl, some of the bigger dogs could have swallowed her whole.
-- Angela Lansbury was there, for some reason, and wound up doing a whipkick into Bernadette Peter’s arms…who did not catch her flailing leg. It was as awesome as it sounds.
-- Richard Fleeshman, in all of his British-accented glory, described the dog he was showing off, Dusty, as “ridiculously cute.” Takes one to know one, ain’t that right Abs McHotty?
-- Caissie Levy was wearing a yellow, strapless shift dress and SHUT.IT.DOWN with her beauty. Her strategy for the day was clearly, “I am going to get this dog adopted and then shop for a billionaire husband.”
-- Nina Arianda was present and had her hair tied up in a bun. I repeat…SHE HAD HER HAIR TIED UP IN A BUN. This is not a drill; attention must be paid. Oh, the abuse of such long, luxurious locks…is that even legal?
-- It is pretty hard to upstage Andrew Rannells and Rory O’Malley cavorting around with some puppies. Bernadette managed to do that…by dropping an F-Bomb partially into a microphone. Oh, we heard it…it happened, it was real. All of a sudden, I have forgiven Bernadette for Follies and instantly loved her as she was trying to cover her ass. It was too late…but the shock and awe of the audience and Rory and Andrew was life-making. Forever.
-- Ben Vereen was very happy to be there. I am not sure he knew where he was, but who cares…he is in his own little Vereen-ing world where he doubles as the mayor.
-- It is funny how so many actors can blend in with the masses. Above them all was Steve Kazee, walking around and maneuvering through the crowds like his is not the golden-voiced, Tony-winning star that he is. C’mon Steve, you know the drill…you are supposed to fly around on a jet pack. Or a cherry picker.
-- As if the entire event is not enough of a national threat to ovaries everywhere, Kazee knelt down and cuddled two puppies while reading off his information. You can only imagine how many women and gay men were eying those animals with jealousy and in rage.
-- You know that sweet and charming Cristin Milioti? She unleashed with this little exchange:
Bernadette Peters: Here’s Cristin Miriot-
You guys…we were due for our diva throw-down and we got it. I do not know what I was afraid of more; Cristin’s inner-diva emergence or the thought of Bernadette Peters pulling a Patti LuPone tirade. I can’t even…
-- Anjelica Huston and Megan Hilty got bombarded as they pranced around the Broadway Barks area. Because it does not matter how poor Smash was…you were on TV and therefore, you are instantly famous in these parts.
Photo Credit: Walter McBride/BroadwayWorld