Glee 3x13 "Heart"

You know…it would be easy to hate this episode because the characters we once knew (and loved) are now parodies of the caricatures of the characters they once were, or something…but Glee somehow charmed me into the sap and nonsense. After the terrible episode last week, that can only be a good thing. Since its return from hiatus, they seem to be making a conscious effort to go for the fun staging and high-camp routes and while they are foolishly insistent on shoehorning in the lesson of the week (this episode was no exception), at least the show is ‘watchable’…even for all the wrong reasons.

Caroline…let’s make this a duet.

Caroline: “There’s no need to fight. Sugar is fu**ing awful.”
Caroline: They’re adorbs singing together…
Caroline: Lol
NRNW: They look great…so let’s cut in the most irrelevant love triangle of all time.
Caroline: Right? WTF why is this a thing
NRNW: Great job Asian persuasion…that that will be your last duet until season 7.

That pretty much says it all…love the song and the performers. They are so cute and mostly drama-free by comparison, I am not sure if they are even on the right show. So naturally, the focus gets pulled off of them.

Also cute; there is nothing Kevin McHale (armed with a FABULOUS vest) cannot handle.

This grew on me and that is mostly because of Samuel Larson. I kind of dug his voice and it is well-suited for “Stereo Hearts.” Oh sure; the character he is playing is a version of himself – no different then Damian McGinty’s Rory or Lindsay Pierce’s Harmony - but at least his introduction was not overexposed and utterly pointless like a certain Irish transfer student whose only characterization to this day is “I’m very Irish.”

Well okay, the entire God Squad thing was pointless. But, you know…that’s Glee for ya. Jostling plot lines and characters around since 2009. The “gays and the bible” and “gays in love/pdas” lessons of the week was god-awful hideous (pun intended) that it warrants no further comment from me.

Enh, just okay. A shame because “Home” is a personal favorite song of mine, but it does not quite fit the bill. Maybe I am being kind of subtle about it (hahaha), but anything plot-related involving Sugar was a huge pile of suck. Even at her best, she is just…there for some reason. I think you all know where I stand on Damian McGinty…isn’t his seven episode arc up yet?

“McGinty broke the news to E! Online, saying that "I found out that I am doing more than seven [episodes]. I don't know for how long.” - Irish Central

Oh, you gotta be fu**ing kidding me Congrats Damian!

Truth be told, I was nervous for our girl. Whitney Houston’s untimely passing had a lot of eyes on Amber Riley here given the timing of this episode’s airing. Riley belted for her life and did her proud (way better then I thought), but even she cannot quite project like Houston (then again, who could?). Naturally, Caroline and I take a more cynical aspect on the matter.

NRNW: So who has not cheated in Glee club?
Caroline: Shane CRIED? He doesn’t have feelings. He’s not even on the show.
Caroline: I hate you Mercedes
NRNW: And those pink satin capris make you look fat
NRNW: Remember that time she wanted someone so badly she though she loved the closeted gay?
Caroline: Hahahaha
Caroline: The transparently closeted gay
NRNW: Who wears corsets to third period.
Caroline: Shane, please leave; you were never here.
Caroline: Why do they have these conversations at school?
Caroline: Oh my god; I just saw the pants.
NRNW: Well I mean…Finn found out his father had some PTSD and died of a drug overdose
NRNW: Totes school appropriate
Caroline: That was hilarious
Caroline: He seems over it now
Caroline: Why is she still wearing those pants?
Caroline: No; that’s left over from the pants
NRNW: Why is it when most of the men cry, they look like recovering crack addicts?
Caroline; This is ridiculous. You’re in high school; stop making things so hard

A lackluster performance (was that intentional?), but this really is the perfect song for the Berry trio. Broadway, self-indulgent and a little creepy...

As far as the appearance of Rachel’s dads…shrug. Two-and-a-half seasons of waiting for two short (and lifeless) numbers and some crazy plot device to teach Rachel and Finn a lesson about their pending marriage (all of their “drama” was later resolved off-camera…tsk tsk). Underwhelming, but a least Jeff Goldblum and Brian Stokes Mitchell rang their characters dry for some comedy and witty lines.

Before wrapping it up with the last two numbers, a lot of you have asked/wondered if I watch each episode honing in on the flaws. That is far from the case; I usually am wearing sweatpants, eating some junk food and trying to top Caroline’s one-liners (which is hard to do, trust me). When it came to the Karofsky subplot, the Glee writers pointed out the show’s flawed writing for me. It’s quite simple…

Look, I was there. I remember David’s kiss with Kurt that flipped the script and practically change the direction of the entire show. There was a germ of a good idea there, but shortly after that, the writer’s lost all sense of fun and light-humor and delved into preachy schmaltz with the “lets not insult or bully the out gay kid” aspect. While I love Kurt (when he is not Preachy McPreacherson) and Blaine, David represents a character that is REALLY hard to come by. How many closeted jocks do you know on mainstream television?

I make fun of the show all the time for dropping and picking up plot lines left and right… this is just a prime example. While the already too-large ensemble does not need another character, Dave is a hell of a lot more interesting and is worth keeping in some proximity on a regular basis. It also does not hurt that Max Adler is a great actor and keeps the entire transition David is going through believable and heart breaking. Glee responds to a potential homerun of a story arc with two small scenes, eight episodes apart, with all of David’s growth, compassion and wisdom coming from off-camera. When it comes to character development, Glee is all start and finish…no in-between.

And apparently, Sugar knows how to throw an expensive party. Because she it completely relevant and the show should hinge on her more often. Bleh, whatever…hit it!

Not really setting me on fire. I love Dianna Agron’s voice, but it seemed off here and it was hard to get past.

A super-fun way to end the episode, and Chris Colfer really added to the number when the bitch Spring Awakening-ed that bedazzled microphone from…somewhere. LOVED that.

Until the next time…

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